Sunday, June 9, 2013

I Didn't Go To My 10 Year Reunion

Class of 2003
This weekend was my 10 year college reunion. I didn't go.

However, thanks to social media, I've seen posts aplenty about the event. Though I've been busy with other commitments all weekend, I've had these little reminders keeping this milestone in the back of my mind.

And so, in honor of my 10th college reunion, here are the top ten reasons I didn't go back to campus.

10. Facebook. I seriously blame social media in general, and Facebook in particular, for making reunions seem increasingly obsolete. You got married? Had a baby? Spent time in Ghana? I'd ask you to tell me about it, but I already totally liked all of this. As it was happening.

9. Denial. I can't believe it's been ten years since I went off to college! It seems like only yesterday I was packing my bags to head to Boston and -- wait wait wait, what? It's been ten years since I finished (not started... finished) my undergraduate career?! Nope. That can't be right.

8. Budget. Plane tickets, hotel room, public transit or rental car, class gift, meals out, registration - um, that'd all add up really quickly. (I think I'd also be the only member of my class traveling from Mississippi to Massachusetts. From what I've seen, it looks like most folks are coming from, say, NYC to Boston; an easier trip.) This year has already been stacked with travel, with more ahead... oh, and, yeah - kiiiiiinda planning a wedding, which apparently, isn't cheap. Also, re: plane tickets - that could also mean puke.

7. Weddings & Funerals. The honest truth is, between weddings, funerals, and planned encounters... I'm lucky enough to be able to say that within the past couple of years, I've seen all of my best college friends; more than once, in some instances. We don't need reunions to connect us with those we hold most dear. Reunions are for bringing "the gang" back together.

6. Gang? What Gang? Right, speaking of which... I was part of several different circles when I was in college. But some of them were multiple-year (i.e., sophomores, juniors, seniors - with so many of my friends a year or two older or younger than I, they wouldn't be at this reunion) and others, frankly, fell apart as soon as we tossed our caps in the air. What "gang" would I have at a reunion?

5. I Suck at Schmoozing  The next critical consideration, for a girl without a gang: I suck at schmoozing. More accurately, I don't enjoy it. I'm actually a pretty decent small-talker when I need to be (Theater Background + Life In The South = Excellent Small Talk Training). But I find it exhausting. My introverted self shivers just thinking about it. Reunions are a small talk smorgasbord, and I. just. can't.

4. I Said Bye-Bye, College. Since I haven't made it clear yet in this post, I should say - I appreciated, valued, and (mostly) enjoyed my undergraduate experience. But when graduation rolled around, I was ready. I haven't been missing the college, or wanting to re-live those years. I didn't meet my future husband there (just went through some nasty breakups). I don't have any "special campus spot" I need to re-visit. Most of the moments that resonated most with me were fleeting - onstage and backstage, off-campus with friends, in the classroom (YES, I'm a nerd and some of my fondest college memories were in a classroom). Moments that had to be let go as soon as they happened. I let them go; and when I graduated, I let college go.

Romy & Michele: Winning.
3. The Game. This is sort of the classic reason people dread reunions: The Game. Who got married? Who had kids? Who has a successful career? Who got fat? Who's unemployed? Who's winning at life, and who's losing?

In addition to already pretty much knowing all of this information (see #10 above), the idea of competitive chit chat makes me break out in hives (see #5 above). As for me, am I where I thought I'd be, ten years out? Nope. But I don't feel like I'm losing.

2. I Had Other Plans. Legitimately, this weekend was a bad one for me: my life, here and now, had multiple demands on me. An organization I'm currently president of celebrated its 10th year with a big event; I had to skip out on an annual banquet for another organization I'm on the board of here in Mississippi. Reminiscing about then might have been more appealing if I didn't have even more going on now.

1. There's Always Our 20th. Right, y'all? Excuses aside, I'm not off the reunion hook - at least, not nostalgia-wise. I'm still thinking about the milestone; all that has and has not happened in the last ten years, all that may or may not happen in the next ten. I wish only good things for my classmates. I'll continue the visits and Facebooking. And who knows? Maybe in another ten years, I'll be a better schmoozer.

In the meantime, The Fiance confessed that he didn't even know when his ten year reunion took place, though it would have been five years ago. The reminder that I'm always and forever five years younger than he is made me feel better. ;-)


  1. The only reunion I really enjoyed was your dad's reunion. I was about 7 years younger than everyone, and the tunes were all from the 60s. Dance Party!

    1. And Bob Seger, right? Please tell me there was also some Bob Seger. ;-)

    2. Yes, there was Bob Seger. Did I never tell you this story? The valets and waiters were commenting on our getting our groove on ;-)

  2. We missed you! Our only source of entertainment was Morty Rosenbaum and his boyfriend. And we "career women" needed to stick together. Every encounter was like, "Hey, I know you. Sort of. Well, here's my baby. What are you up to? Oh wait, my toddler just got out of the stroller. Have a nice life. See you in five years!" Baruch was sadly underrepresented and I really wish I could have seen you and Sara. Mazal tov on your engagement! Enjoying this blog.

    1. That's pretty much exactly how I pictured the reunion... but I'm sorry I wasn't there to drink wine and exchange glances with you!

      Also, not gonna lie - I have no idea who Morty Rosenbaum is. But he sounds like someone I'd totally hang out with, and fashion a paper plate award for MOST JEWISH SOUNDING NAME EVER to give him before departing.